In 2010 my beloved godfather got fatally sick. He was a rich man who loved me sincerely. He gave me 250 000€. Like that.
At that time I was doing the ratrace thing as never before. My daughter was just born, I was 34, used to live on my own, buying books, guitars, synths, camera’s and comfort food. And now I was a dad!!
A very appealing concept, because I dreamed about having kids since early childhood, but the sense of responsibility crept in.
I had to earn. Kids cost. Work more. No questions now.
I realised I had the ability to change my life, to pursue my dreams.
I felt like being on a dead-end street in my life as a freelance video editor for TV. Every day I was in a traffic jam. 12 to 14 hours away from home, seeing my daughter sleep in the morning and sleep in the evening when I got back home.
I was even fed up with listening to the mantra of news reports on the radio. I got the idea of listening to podcasts instead and I found some long interviews with my long-time hero Graham Hancock, the real Indiana Jones, as I call him.
In these podcasts he was so furiously passionate about his subjects (his work is about the roots of society and one of his standard quotes is “we are a species with amnesia”) that I felt a burning desire to meet the man. In a 3 hour interview he gave away his email address. I couldn’t believe it and I went to his website before contacting him. There I found out that he was a guest on a trip to Egypt, guided by Robert Bauval, another best-seller writer on the same topic.
So I mailed him asking for an interview, and he kindly replied!
And so it began to roll. I started interviewing people and researching.
I went to Egypt in April 2011 on the tour organised by Robert Bauval, bestselling author of “The Orion Mystery”, after the Arab spring had erupted. Consequence: all the tourists stayed away because they feared attacks, so we were all alone on all the ancient sites. Obviously we were a special bunch of folks, about 40 in total.
First of all we didn’t fear attacks and we were attracted by a writer who questions the accepted history. Not many people read that kind of books. Only weirdos.
And that’s what we were, a bunch of weirdos from all over the world.
After that trip I visited Graham Hancock at his home and Robert Bauval at his daughter’s home.
And that was the beginning of a long process that started with a lot of energy, but slowed down step by step leaving me with myself. To the point where I set myself a deadline to finish this film for once and for all.
So I ended it.
And I was happy because of just that.
But the end result wasn’t 100% ok to me. It felt like a draft.
Then I had to sell the movie. I had worked for 2 years on it. I needed return. After all, I had declared myself a filmmaker instead of a freelance TV editor.
And I tried. I was very lucky to have found some people who were enthousiast to organise screenings, Peter Vereecke in particular who sold many DVD’s, but it didn’t launch me.
I got some press attention and even got on the cover of a national magazine, but these sort of things pass and the next week you’re forgotten
Of course not. A launch is a well organised event.
So I decided on March 18th 2013 to put it on youtube for free and I pushed it online where I could. And it worked! The very first day I had 445 views and on Sunday, March 24th I reached over 4100 views in that one day.
I got overloaded with reactions. People liked it and I loved that. I had some interviews and for a short time I felt like one of the leading film makers in the alternative circuit.
A woman wrote me a long letter in which she stated that I had saved her life by making and releasing this film. A very emotional letter. How both her parents recently had died and she left behind totally stuck in her life because there was unfinished business she could not lay down…
Until she saw my film.
That was worth everything.
So I stopped the poor marketing attempts and went back to…
That apparently had totally forgotten me. I struggled to fit in and to get in.
And that lead me to drones, and that lead me to burn-out.
And here I am again.
This time there seems no way back. Been there, done that.
I understand the worries of my parents and my brothers and the rest of my family who are all successful rat-racers -I know it’s a bit of a blunt generalisation, but hey, they’re on top of their game and doing well-. But they don’t understand me, they don’t understand the depth of my life.
And that understanding doesn’t really matter.
What matters is that I have seen the light (check my post on kundalini awakening), and that is the only path that fits me.
I’m all-in here.
All-in to Freedom.